We hold these postulates to be intuitively obvious, that all physicists are born equal, to a first approximation, and are endowed by their creator with certain discrete privileges, among them a mean rest life, n degrees of freedom, and the following rights, which are invariant under all linear transformations:

**I.** To approximate all problems to ideal cases.

**II.** To use order of magnitude calculations whenever deemed necessary (i.e., whenever one can get away with it).

**III.** To use the rigorous method of "squinting" for solving problems more complex than the additions of positive real integers.

**IV.** To dismiss all functions which diverge as "nasty" and "unphysical".

**V.** To invoke the uncertainty principle whenever confronted by confused mathematicians, chemists, engineers, psychologists, dramatists, and andere schweinhund.

**VI.** To the extensive use of "bastard notations" where conventional mathematics will not work.

**VII.** To justify shaky reasoning on the basis that it gives the right answer.

**VIII.** To cleverly choose convenient initial conditions, using the principle of general triviality.

**IX.** To use plausible arguments in place of proofs, and thenceforth refer to those arguments as proofs.

**X.** To take on faith any principle which seems right but cannot be proved.

Copyright 1995, The American Physical Society.

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